A repost. As originally published on EV Mail News for the week of January 16-22, 2012.
http://www.evmailnews.com/eastern-visayas-mail-issue-of-january-16-22-2012
To all my American and non-Filipino friends and readers, I guess I owe you a short explanation on what the title for this article means. The Filipinos have a tradition which has been handed down through generations, and of which I believe has its origins from our Spanish heritage, which is called "pagmamano." It's the tradition of asking for blessings upon us while giving deep respects to the elderly, especially among our family and relatives. It's a gesture that involves kissing or placing the hand of the elder unto our forehead as a way of greeting. This is one of our cultural traditions that I really, really like, and of which my husband and I have decided to hand down and teach to our son.
Our son was brought up in a sort of "modern" family environment. Modern in the sense that we shower him with much "visible" and affectionate love that includes hugs and kisses everyday ever since he was born. I believe this was unheard of in most of the "older" families in our country. At least my own family (parents and siblings) wasn't like that when I was growing up.
And also, my husband and I brought up our son teaching and speaking a foreign language (English) because we wanted him to be ready for the "global world" in the future, and besides, we reasoned, he would learn how to speak Tagalog or Filipino, as well as my mother tongue or dialect, Waray-waray, as he goes to school and interact with his Filipino friends. This was without foreseeing that we would leave our home country and raise him in America eventually. So much for wisdom and vision on our part, huh?
As we shower him with hugs and kisses, and many "I love you" everyday, we sort of forgotten the old tradition of "pagmamano" (in Tagalog) or "pag-amen" (in Waray-waray). It was more from a lack of foresight rather than from voluntarily disrespecting our culture's time-old tradition.
As I've said before, as long as a tradition does not go against the commands and the truths of God in His Word, the Bible, any traditions are fine with me. Traditions can be a great way of preserving morals and family values that have been passed down throughout the years. This is the reason why, too late or not, we've decided to teach our son to do the "mano po!" (bless me!) in our home.
When he started practicing the pagmamano, my son was a little too self-conscious about it because he hasn't done it in all the 16 years of his life! And we understood. It takes time and practice, aside from learning and understanding what it means, and what does a particular tradition stand for in a family.
We were gentle yet firm on our stand about it, reminding but not pushing too hard, and letting him take on the tradition to be his own. He's been doing this for only about 3 to 4 months now and, I must say, he's getting better at it. Although he can't remember to say "mano po" all the time, but he does say, "Hello, Mom" or "Good evening, Dad" whenever he does it, and that's more than enough for us.
Little, but precious things, like this tradition of pagmamano is very important to the family and to society as a whole. It what makes us grow closer together and it gives meaningful essence to life and to our relationships. I know that in other cultures and in other homes, families have their own traditions that they call their own. Sometimes when certain traditions are broken for no apparent reason at all, it tends to be difficult on the family members, especially the children. They don't know and can't understand what's happened and why something so precious in their own home has been broken so suddenly.
So we try to practice and keep traditions intact within our homes, the traditions that are sweet and precious, the ones that promote love and care among family and close friends. Even the traditions which include strangers into our life --these are the traditions that are worth keeping.
"Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily." -Colossians 2:8
But whenever I get caught up in the sentimentality of family, friendship, relationships, and traditions, especially from my home culture, I always try to remember a word of caution for myself, lest I forget or if ever I get too drawn in by such things, that traditions are only well and good if they don't surpass or go against my faith in God and His truth. And that my relationship with God and my "traditions" with Him supersede all other things in this world, for without Him I can do nothing.
"Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother." -Matthew 12:48-50
http://www.evmailnews.com/eastern-visayas-mail-issue-of-january-16-22-2012
To all my American and non-Filipino friends and readers, I guess I owe you a short explanation on what the title for this article means. The Filipinos have a tradition which has been handed down through generations, and of which I believe has its origins from our Spanish heritage, which is called "pagmamano." It's the tradition of asking for blessings upon us while giving deep respects to the elderly, especially among our family and relatives. It's a gesture that involves kissing or placing the hand of the elder unto our forehead as a way of greeting. This is one of our cultural traditions that I really, really like, and of which my husband and I have decided to hand down and teach to our son.
Our son was brought up in a sort of "modern" family environment. Modern in the sense that we shower him with much "visible" and affectionate love that includes hugs and kisses everyday ever since he was born. I believe this was unheard of in most of the "older" families in our country. At least my own family (parents and siblings) wasn't like that when I was growing up.
And also, my husband and I brought up our son teaching and speaking a foreign language (English) because we wanted him to be ready for the "global world" in the future, and besides, we reasoned, he would learn how to speak Tagalog or Filipino, as well as my mother tongue or dialect, Waray-waray, as he goes to school and interact with his Filipino friends. This was without foreseeing that we would leave our home country and raise him in America eventually. So much for wisdom and vision on our part, huh?
As we shower him with hugs and kisses, and many "I love you" everyday, we sort of forgotten the old tradition of "pagmamano" (in Tagalog) or "pag-amen" (in Waray-waray). It was more from a lack of foresight rather than from voluntarily disrespecting our culture's time-old tradition.
As I've said before, as long as a tradition does not go against the commands and the truths of God in His Word, the Bible, any traditions are fine with me. Traditions can be a great way of preserving morals and family values that have been passed down throughout the years. This is the reason why, too late or not, we've decided to teach our son to do the "mano po!" (bless me!) in our home.
When he started practicing the pagmamano, my son was a little too self-conscious about it because he hasn't done it in all the 16 years of his life! And we understood. It takes time and practice, aside from learning and understanding what it means, and what does a particular tradition stand for in a family.
We were gentle yet firm on our stand about it, reminding but not pushing too hard, and letting him take on the tradition to be his own. He's been doing this for only about 3 to 4 months now and, I must say, he's getting better at it. Although he can't remember to say "mano po" all the time, but he does say, "Hello, Mom" or "Good evening, Dad" whenever he does it, and that's more than enough for us.
Little, but precious things, like this tradition of pagmamano is very important to the family and to society as a whole. It what makes us grow closer together and it gives meaningful essence to life and to our relationships. I know that in other cultures and in other homes, families have their own traditions that they call their own. Sometimes when certain traditions are broken for no apparent reason at all, it tends to be difficult on the family members, especially the children. They don't know and can't understand what's happened and why something so precious in their own home has been broken so suddenly.
So we try to practice and keep traditions intact within our homes, the traditions that are sweet and precious, the ones that promote love and care among family and close friends. Even the traditions which include strangers into our life --these are the traditions that are worth keeping.
"Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily." -Colossians 2:8
But whenever I get caught up in the sentimentality of family, friendship, relationships, and traditions, especially from my home culture, I always try to remember a word of caution for myself, lest I forget or if ever I get too drawn in by such things, that traditions are only well and good if they don't surpass or go against my faith in God and His truth. And that my relationship with God and my "traditions" with Him supersede all other things in this world, for without Him I can do nothing.
"Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother." -Matthew 12:48-50
I'm a bit modern too -- I always forget to offer my hand to my six-year old daughter. I'm a hugger. Hugging is more natural, I guess. Mara, napabuotan imo posts. :-) I like the way you connect every story to the reflections you give in your concluding statements.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Doray.
ReplyDeleteI guess beginning with our generation, families have become more "modern" even in the Philippines. I'm glad we still have time to teach some Filipino traditions to our son & hopefully, he will also teach those worthwhile traditions to his children in the future.
Napabuotan? lol! Kay buotan kan man nga daan na. =) Thanks for your support & for your comments & for visiting my blogs. Best regards...
I liked this post.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a wonderful example of teaching your child to respect the elderly and respect the traditions and customs of others. I brought my kids up overseas and tried to do the same, even though it was uncomfortable at times for them.
ReplyDelete