10 (Unsolicited) Advise For Teenagers

A repost. As originally published on EV Mail News for the week of January 23-29, 2012.
http://www.evmailnews.com/eastern-visayas-mail-issue-of-jan-23-29-2012

"O God, thou hast taught me from my youth: and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works. Now also when I am old and greyheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come." -Psalm 71:17-18

I know this would be kinda hard to believe for some younger people (including my son) but yes, I was once young. I've also been a teenager before. It's not important now on how long ago that was, but it would be safe to say that it wasn't during the Stone Age.

I find it all too amusing when I hear kids or teenagers talk about getting old as something that is so, so far away for it to happen to them. I've heard a teenager on TV here in Chicago said something like: ".....when I get old, like, when I'm in my 30's....." That just sent me cracking up the whole day! Phew, these kids, they don't know what they're talking about!

My son looked directly at my face one time, with an incredulous expression on his face, when I told him that I once worked for a local TV station in Tacloban City. I thought he was looking at me with awe, probably thinking at last that his Mom was in fact cool? Then he said, with the same crazy expression on his face, "There was TV when you were young?!" Wow. These things might seem very amusing to me now (and I also find teenagers too adorable) but I got to remember that I might have been amusing as well to my parents and to my elders when I was a teenager. Hmm, were they laughing behind my back?

My son is so funny at this age that even without him trying hard, his antics, the vocal changes, and the physical awkwardness are all amusing and endearing to me at the same time. I try not to laugh at him (most of the time), because I know how teenagers get embarrassed so easily, but sometimes I just can't help it! (Just wait 'til he reads this article, ha?) It's like watching my baby trying hard to turn into a man but still doesn't really want to, not yet at least. Teenagers are like people trapped between childhood and adulthood and it's understandable why this stage can be very confusing, scary, and may also be traumatic for them, if not handled with care.

There's much talk, open dialogues, lots of self-help books, Facebook posts, etc. allotted to raising teenagers and what we can do to help them achieve success and well-being. I'm not against it or anything like that, I'm just fascinated by it all. I didn't have that same help when I was a teenager (and yes, you do hear a whine in my tone here), but I came out fine, didn't I? Okay, that may be a bit questionable, but the point is, I'm glad that our society is now more open to talk about this issue and on how to help parents know (and the teenagers as well) that they're not alone in this whole process of growing up. Everybody goes through with it.

So, on the authority of being a teenager once and having a teenager now, I give my ten unsolicited advise to all the teenagers out there (but I guess to all the parents of teenagers is more appropriate since they are the ones more likely to read this article):

(1.) You are only young once. Make every year/age count. Don't waste it on doing anything illegal, immoral or stupid, of which you will soon regret for the rest of your life. It's okay to be crazy once in a while, you are teenagers after all. I just hope you would listen more to the wisdom of your elders, especially from those who've done it all, especially from them.

(2.) Listen well. Don't just hear, listen. Make all "oldies" talk be your life lessons even though you don't know nor understand what we're talking about yet. Write them down or tuck it in the nearest accessible memory "hard drive" in your head for later use. You never know when a good advice will actually be useful in the future.

(3.) Don't be grouchy all the time. I know it's all those hormones inside you creating the havoc in your head, with your moods, and with your emotions, but please try to smile once in a while. It looks good on photos for posterity's sake and also great for Facebook! There you go...smile! See, it doesn't hurt, does it?

(4.) No matter how "modern" or "liberal" or "independent" you've become, I hope you will never forget the basic words of human respect and civility. Saying "Hello," "Please," Excuse me" (in a nice tone of voice), "Thank you," and "I'm sorry" still make a huge difference in people's lives. A kind word will go a long, long way.

(5.) You don't know everything. No matter how convinced you are that you do, you actually don't. Stay in school and learn more. Stay out of trouble as much as you can and work hard on those school projects. Pick up a book and read. Read a lot. (Surfing the internet does not count either!) If you're anything like my son who hates school but he knows he doesn't have any choice but to be there anyway, try to enjoy every minute of it. You're going to be in there for quite a long time. Better make the best of it, have fun and enjoy, rather than flunk every subject and pay for it one way or the other later on. School is not that bad. Jail is.

(6.) Family is everything. (I see you roll your eyes!) But yes, even though you might think friends are everything right now, they really are not. Friends are very nice to have. Friendship is so precious and is a great gift but friends come and go and family always stay. We can choose our friends but we can't get rid of family. Believe me when I say when trouble comes, friends may be hard to find but family is more than enough.

(7.) Eat what you love and eat as much as you can. Be adventurous with your food. Try everything. You are young, you can take almost anything. So when you get older, you already know your favorites and would enjoy more. But please do this without going overboard or resorting to gluttony. And also don't make your parent's monthly budget for food shrink to cover only a day. Anything to the extreme is always bad. Also learn your family's medical history in order to make intelligent food choices. And when the word "teen" drops out of your age, stop. Health is always wealth.

(8.) Exercise! Since you're doing number 7 above, do number 8 as well. I know you're young. You're active and busy, but please don't neglect a good exercise. Walk, walk, and walk. If you can run, by all means, run! You like the gym? Go! "A body in motion tends to stay in motion," I've heard that line from a commercial. I hope that a good physical regimen will always be a part of your life.

(9.) Experience life! Do exciting, normal teenage activities with your friends and family. Travel if you can, go play sports, experience something new and exhilarating (again nothing illegal here, okay?). Don't wait until you're a middle-aged, arthritic version of yourself to do some stunts that your body nor your bones can't handle anymore. Take photos, soak in everything. Make memories and remember for a lifetime.

(10.) Give back. It's always a blessing to give back to family, friends, your church, and specially to strangers, to the poor, and to society. For every blessing we receive, more blessings should be given back. It feels good. It's the right thing to do. Give back to your parents and honor them always, it's the only commandment in the Bible that has a promise that comes with it --a long, full life.

"And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you." -Isaiah 46:4