A repost. As originally published on EV Mail News.
I do realize that I might be putting a brick to my head the moment I decided to write about this 10 things today. I know I don't have any right to judge nor to point any fingers at anyone because I can be judged right back. And that pointy finger I use? It's much dirtier than anybody else's.
And yet it is my hope that this article will not be considered as judgmental nor should it be taken as something written in stone. We're just having some fun here. There might be some tinge of truth to some of the things on the list so it's my intention to use these truths to help ourselves change and become "better people."
I've realized a long time ago that nobody is perfect but at the same time I've also understood the need of accountability and the essence of checks and balances among us. If only we will commit to do what is right, to maintain integrity at all times and make ourselves accountable to the highest of standards, this world will be a much better place. Sadly, not all people think this way. We have a long way to go. I have a long way to go. God's standards in my life are a given but it doesn't mean I'm perfect. It only shows how much I need Him every day because I'm too messed up.
So with this 10 things article today, I hope that we will all have a good time with it and maybe, just maybe, we will think about some of what's on the list that truly hits home, then hopefully and prayerfully, we can make a decision to change.
So here we go:
1.) "Crab Mentality." I've never exactly understood what this phrase mean. I remember learning it in school. Even the famous books of Jose Rizal (the "Noli" and the "Fili") this negative mentality has been condemned and trashed. One thing I do know, it is something bad. And it's supposedly something Filipinos do a lot to put down others. In my research, "crab mentality" is defined as "a type of thinking in which a person tries to pull others down if he or she can't get ahead." Do I need to say more? Don't you think we need to get rid of this kind of behavior quick?
2.) Procrastination and tardiness. Filipino time, really?! Is there even such a thing? It's just a made up excuse to be late all the time and be disrespectful towards others. There! I got it off my chest. I hate being late and I also don't appreciate other people being late at my expense. We all have the same 24 hours, don't we? As my Pastor in Tacloban said: "Plan to be on time and you will always be late but plan to be early and you will be on time." A basic truth that has been very helpful to me ever since.
3.) "Crowding around." I'm not particularly a fan of big crowds especially the rowdy, boisterous, rude kinds. I try to stay away from those at all times. There's nothing that’s too important for me to join or to buy, or to watch, if the whole city is in "it," pushing and shoving. Some Filipinos are sometimes fond of crowding especially if there's some kind of a panic buying mode or a craze that we wanna be a part of. Ever since I've experienced the "respect my space" mentality here in America, the more I get nervous about too much crowding. If you can tell that I have big pores on my face, you're way too close.
4.) Gossiping. I guess this one is not "exclusive" to Filipinos. It's a favorite pastime for all people, period. But for some odd reason, Filipinos have quite mastered the "art." Even here in America, Filipino groups still have the tendency to split up and quarrel due to excessive gossiping. In a way I'm glad I'm the only Filipino on my floor at work because all the Filipinos on the other floors have rifts due to gossiping. "Nakakahiya." "Makaarawod hin duro."
5.) Driving skills. What driving skills? Are you kidding me? I think the Philippine roads are a "blank canvass" of a "no-holds-barred" style of driving. I was too scared to cross the streets in Manila when we went back for a vacation after 5 years of being away, too scared that I refused to get out of the house without a car and a very good driver that came with it.
6.) "Non-unity." Ooh, this one is huge! "Bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan 'wag magagalit!" Living in a foreign land can be very traumatic. It can be a scary and lonely experience especially when you're alone, with no family or old friends around and when homesickness kicks in with a vengeance. Those are the times we need to feel at home away from home. It's this time when we long for some kababayan bonding. But sadly, even though we are a "minority" in foreign lands but with the staggering numbers of Pinoys abroad we’d think that we would have some semblance of a "force to be reckoned with" as a group but in Chicago alone I don't know any Filipino organizations that have a strong influence in the society.
7.) "Takaw-mata." We usually want more in life than we can handle. And we want what we can't have and we want what others have. "I will buy all the i-gadgets even though I can't afford it because that's what everybody has, even though it will cause me to wallow in debt." "Bahala na bukas." This is mostly the kind of mentality I encounter among our kababayan here. And more often than not, we are in denial about it.
8.) Exclusivity. This is sort of a personal experience for me anywhere I go here in America where there are Filipinos who don't know me. Pinoys usually flock together and tend to socialize with our own race alone. And there's nothing wrong with that, it only becomes wrong when we shun other people based on the color of their skin or based on the language they speak. Just because I look different from the "average" Filipino, I've often been a victim of "unknowing discrimination" from my own kababayan. How do I know? Because I understand what they're saying about me when they think I’m not one of them. It was fun at first but it gets really annoying as it happens more and more.
9.) Traveling "heavy!" This one is funny. We love to travel with all our possessions (as much as possible). Maybe I'm exaggerating here but our baggage include: our favorite pillows, blankets, favorite (smelly) foods, fruits and vegetables (because they're fresh-er), pasalubong, our favorite tsinelas, socks, all our toiletries including shampoo, conditioner, facial wash, sabon, body lotion, hand lotion, deodorant, moisturizers, astringents, toothbrush, toothpaste, cologne, perfume, ap-ap solution, whitening products, tiger balm, white flower, aciete de manzanilla, our pet dogs, cats, the chickens, and maybe some eggs. Ok, ok… I know this is becoming a ridiculous list but you see the point. And by the time we get through Customs, half of our stuff are confiscated and thrown away! Duh.
10.) Holding grudges "'til death do us part." We do this all the time. When asked why we're not speaking to somebody we can't even remember the reason for the quarrel. We just want to carry those grudges to keep us burdened and miserable. We love to "hurt" other people by not speaking to them or caring about their life not knowing that we hurt ourselves more by holding grudges. Remember, emotional stress and keeping hard feelings can kill you!
I do realize that I might be putting a brick to my head the moment I decided to write about this 10 things today. I know I don't have any right to judge nor to point any fingers at anyone because I can be judged right back. And that pointy finger I use? It's much dirtier than anybody else's.
And yet it is my hope that this article will not be considered as judgmental nor should it be taken as something written in stone. We're just having some fun here. There might be some tinge of truth to some of the things on the list so it's my intention to use these truths to help ourselves change and become "better people."
I've realized a long time ago that nobody is perfect but at the same time I've also understood the need of accountability and the essence of checks and balances among us. If only we will commit to do what is right, to maintain integrity at all times and make ourselves accountable to the highest of standards, this world will be a much better place. Sadly, not all people think this way. We have a long way to go. I have a long way to go. God's standards in my life are a given but it doesn't mean I'm perfect. It only shows how much I need Him every day because I'm too messed up.
So with this 10 things article today, I hope that we will all have a good time with it and maybe, just maybe, we will think about some of what's on the list that truly hits home, then hopefully and prayerfully, we can make a decision to change.
So here we go:
1.) "Crab Mentality." I've never exactly understood what this phrase mean. I remember learning it in school. Even the famous books of Jose Rizal (the "Noli" and the "Fili") this negative mentality has been condemned and trashed. One thing I do know, it is something bad. And it's supposedly something Filipinos do a lot to put down others. In my research, "crab mentality" is defined as "a type of thinking in which a person tries to pull others down if he or she can't get ahead." Do I need to say more? Don't you think we need to get rid of this kind of behavior quick?
2.) Procrastination and tardiness. Filipino time, really?! Is there even such a thing? It's just a made up excuse to be late all the time and be disrespectful towards others. There! I got it off my chest. I hate being late and I also don't appreciate other people being late at my expense. We all have the same 24 hours, don't we? As my Pastor in Tacloban said: "Plan to be on time and you will always be late but plan to be early and you will be on time." A basic truth that has been very helpful to me ever since.
3.) "Crowding around." I'm not particularly a fan of big crowds especially the rowdy, boisterous, rude kinds. I try to stay away from those at all times. There's nothing that’s too important for me to join or to buy, or to watch, if the whole city is in "it," pushing and shoving. Some Filipinos are sometimes fond of crowding especially if there's some kind of a panic buying mode or a craze that we wanna be a part of. Ever since I've experienced the "respect my space" mentality here in America, the more I get nervous about too much crowding. If you can tell that I have big pores on my face, you're way too close.
4.) Gossiping. I guess this one is not "exclusive" to Filipinos. It's a favorite pastime for all people, period. But for some odd reason, Filipinos have quite mastered the "art." Even here in America, Filipino groups still have the tendency to split up and quarrel due to excessive gossiping. In a way I'm glad I'm the only Filipino on my floor at work because all the Filipinos on the other floors have rifts due to gossiping. "Nakakahiya." "Makaarawod hin duro."
5.) Driving skills. What driving skills? Are you kidding me? I think the Philippine roads are a "blank canvass" of a "no-holds-barred" style of driving. I was too scared to cross the streets in Manila when we went back for a vacation after 5 years of being away, too scared that I refused to get out of the house without a car and a very good driver that came with it.
6.) "Non-unity." Ooh, this one is huge! "Bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan 'wag magagalit!" Living in a foreign land can be very traumatic. It can be a scary and lonely experience especially when you're alone, with no family or old friends around and when homesickness kicks in with a vengeance. Those are the times we need to feel at home away from home. It's this time when we long for some kababayan bonding. But sadly, even though we are a "minority" in foreign lands but with the staggering numbers of Pinoys abroad we’d think that we would have some semblance of a "force to be reckoned with" as a group but in Chicago alone I don't know any Filipino organizations that have a strong influence in the society.
7.) "Takaw-mata." We usually want more in life than we can handle. And we want what we can't have and we want what others have. "I will buy all the i-gadgets even though I can't afford it because that's what everybody has, even though it will cause me to wallow in debt." "Bahala na bukas." This is mostly the kind of mentality I encounter among our kababayan here. And more often than not, we are in denial about it.
8.) Exclusivity. This is sort of a personal experience for me anywhere I go here in America where there are Filipinos who don't know me. Pinoys usually flock together and tend to socialize with our own race alone. And there's nothing wrong with that, it only becomes wrong when we shun other people based on the color of their skin or based on the language they speak. Just because I look different from the "average" Filipino, I've often been a victim of "unknowing discrimination" from my own kababayan. How do I know? Because I understand what they're saying about me when they think I’m not one of them. It was fun at first but it gets really annoying as it happens more and more.
9.) Traveling "heavy!" This one is funny. We love to travel with all our possessions (as much as possible). Maybe I'm exaggerating here but our baggage include: our favorite pillows, blankets, favorite (smelly) foods, fruits and vegetables (because they're fresh-er), pasalubong, our favorite tsinelas, socks, all our toiletries including shampoo, conditioner, facial wash, sabon, body lotion, hand lotion, deodorant, moisturizers, astringents, toothbrush, toothpaste, cologne, perfume, ap-ap solution, whitening products, tiger balm, white flower, aciete de manzanilla, our pet dogs, cats, the chickens, and maybe some eggs. Ok, ok… I know this is becoming a ridiculous list but you see the point. And by the time we get through Customs, half of our stuff are confiscated and thrown away! Duh.
10.) Holding grudges "'til death do us part." We do this all the time. When asked why we're not speaking to somebody we can't even remember the reason for the quarrel. We just want to carry those grudges to keep us burdened and miserable. We love to "hurt" other people by not speaking to them or caring about their life not knowing that we hurt ourselves more by holding grudges. Remember, emotional stress and keeping hard feelings can kill you!
