Monday, June 25, 2012

10 "Filipino Ways" I'm Not Too Proud Of...

A repost. As originally published on EV Mail News.


I do realize that I might be putting a brick to my head the moment I decided to write about this 10 things today. I know I don't have any right to judge nor to point any fingers at anyone because I can be judged right back. And that pointy finger I use? It's much dirtier than anybody else's.

And yet it is my hope that this article will not be considered as judgmental nor should it be taken as something written in stone. We're just having some fun here. There might be some tinge of truth to some of the things on the list so it's my intention to use these truths to help ourselves change and become "better people."

I've realized a long time ago that nobody is perfect but at the same time I've also understood the need of accountability and the essence of checks and balances among us. If only we will commit to do what is right, to maintain integrity at all times and make ourselves accountable to the highest of standards, this world will be a much better place. Sadly, not all people think this way. We have a long way to go. I have a long way to go. God's standards in my life are a given but it doesn't mean I'm perfect. It only shows how much I need Him every day because I'm too messed up.

So with this 10 things article today, I hope that we will all have a good time with it and maybe, just maybe, we will think about some of what's on the list that truly hits home, then hopefully and prayerfully, we can make a decision to change.

So here we go:

1.) "Crab Mentality." I've never exactly understood what this phrase mean. I remember learning it in school. Even the famous books of Jose Rizal (the "Noli" and the "Fili") this negative mentality has been condemned and trashed. One thing I do know, it is something bad. And it's supposedly something Filipinos do a lot to put down others. In my research, "crab mentality" is defined as "a type of thinking in which a person tries to pull others down if he or she can't get ahead." Do I need to say more? Don't you think we need to get rid of this kind of behavior quick?

2.) Procrastination and tardiness. Filipino time, really?! Is there even such a thing? It's just a made up excuse to be late all the time and be disrespectful towards others. There! I got it off my chest. I hate being late and I also don't appreciate other people being late at my expense. We all have the same 24 hours, don't we? As my Pastor in Tacloban said: "Plan to be on time and you will always be late but plan to be early and you will be on time." A basic truth that has been very helpful to me ever since.

3.) "Crowding around." I'm not particularly a fan of big crowds especially the rowdy, boisterous, rude kinds. I try to stay away from those at all times. There's nothing that’s too important for me to join or to buy, or to watch, if the whole city is in "it," pushing and shoving. Some Filipinos are sometimes fond of crowding especially if there's some kind of a panic buying mode or a craze that we wanna be a part of. Ever since I've experienced the "respect my space" mentality here in America, the more I get nervous about too much crowding. If you can tell that I have big pores on my face, you're way too close.

4.) Gossiping. I guess this one is not "exclusive" to Filipinos. It's a favorite pastime for all people, period. But for some odd reason, Filipinos have quite mastered the "art." Even here in America, Filipino groups still have the tendency to split up and quarrel due to excessive gossiping. In a way I'm glad I'm the only Filipino on my floor at work because all the Filipinos on the other floors have rifts due to gossiping. "Nakakahiya." "Makaarawod hin duro."

5.) Driving skills. What driving skills? Are you kidding me? I think the Philippine roads are a "blank canvass" of a "no-holds-barred" style of driving. I was too scared to cross the streets in Manila when we went back for a vacation after 5 years of being away, too scared that I refused to get out of the house without a car and a very good driver that came with it.

6.) "Non-unity." Ooh, this one is huge! "Bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan 'wag magagalit!" Living in a foreign land can be very traumatic. It can be a scary and lonely experience especially when you're alone, with no family or old friends around and when homesickness kicks in with a vengeance. Those are the times we need to feel at home away from home. It's this time when we long for some kababayan bonding. But sadly, even though we are a "minority" in foreign lands but with the staggering numbers of Pinoys abroad we’d think that we would have some semblance of a "force to be reckoned with" as a group but in Chicago alone I don't know any Filipino organizations that have a strong influence in the society.

7.) "Takaw-mata." We usually want more in life than we can handle. And we want what we can't have and we want what others have. "I will buy all the i-gadgets even though I can't afford it because that's what everybody has, even though it will cause me to wallow in debt." "Bahala na bukas." This is mostly the kind of mentality I encounter among our kababayan here. And more often than not, we are in denial about it.

8.) Exclusivity. This is sort of a personal experience for me anywhere I go here in America where there are Filipinos who don't know me. Pinoys usually flock together and tend to socialize with our own race alone. And there's nothing wrong with that, it only becomes wrong when we shun other people based on the color of their skin or based on the language they speak. Just because I look different from the "average" Filipino, I've often been a victim of "unknowing discrimination" from my own kababayan. How do I know? Because I understand what they're saying about me when they think I’m not one of them. It was fun at first but it gets really annoying as it happens more and more.

9.) Traveling "heavy!" This one is funny. We love to travel with all our possessions (as much as possible). Maybe I'm exaggerating here but our baggage include: our favorite pillows, blankets, favorite (smelly) foods, fruits and vegetables (because they're fresh-er), pasalubong, our favorite tsinelas, socks, all our toiletries including shampoo, conditioner, facial wash, sabon, body lotion, hand lotion, deodorant, moisturizers, astringents, toothbrush, toothpaste, cologne, perfume, ap-ap solution, whitening products, tiger balm, white flower, aciete de manzanilla, our pet dogs, cats, the chickens, and maybe some eggs. Ok, ok I know this is becoming a ridiculous list but you see the point. And by the time we get through Customs, half of our stuff are confiscated and thrown away! Duh.

10.) Holding grudges "'til death do us part." We do this all the time. When asked why we're not speaking to somebody we can't even remember the reason for the quarrel. We just want to carry those grudges to keep us burdened and miserable. We love to "hurt" other people by not speaking to them or caring about their life not knowing that we hurt ourselves more by holding grudges. Remember, emotional stress and keeping hard feelings can kill you!

Sunday, June 3, 2012

10 Things I Love About Chicago

A repost. As originally published on EV Mail News for the week of April 16-22, 2012.
Link: EV Mail News (Digital Version)


Since I will be staying in Chicago for a very long time, I might as well count my blessings and appreciate the great things that my new home city has to offer, right?

So here it is… I've listed down 10 things that I love about Chicago. And while I was thinking of what to include in the list, there's no surprise that I’ve ended up with more than 10 things. How can you put the things you love (or like so much) into just one short list? But since I've promised that I will write the “10-thing series” for this column, and since I'm a person of my word, 10 things it’s gonna be.

Chicago is a great city, and not only because of the “superficial” things tourists see when they come to visit, but also because of the wonderful “unseen” and every day things we get enjoy and experience. I guess my perspective on this subject can be considered as "biased," ever since I've began to call this place as my own. A perspective coming from the heart always changes everything.

But of course, I wouldn't even pretend and say that this is the greatest city in the world because everything here is fine and dandy, for I'll be lying. As in any other places, there will always be problems. There are unresolved issues and not everybody can be pleased. Chicago is not exempt or immune to that. There are also the negative and the bad things that happen here just like everywhere else. But this article today is not about those bad things. I chose to focus on the things I love, the ones I like so much, which are beautiful, wonderful and great.

You might think that I’m contradicting myself on some points on the list, but I beg to disagree. You have to read between the lines. For example with the commute, I know I said I love the 10-15 minutes commute I used to have in the Philippines before but I also love the commute here in Chicago considering that I don’t have to drive long hours or to contend with traffic. I love the best of both worlds, I guess.

And oh, these so-called wonderful things are the rules. You know what they say about rules --they are made to be broken, or whatever. For every rule, there’s always an exception. There will always be the wayward number of people who simply can’t or won’t follow the rules. Their number will always be in the minority.

So let’s begin, shall we?

(1.) Traffic. What traffic? This opinion comes from someone who has seen traffic at its worst. Ok maybe not the worst, but one of the worst in the world. Actually, it’s one of the top ten, to be exact. Yes, that’s how Manila traffic is ranked today. Not a good place to be but it’s the reality. That’s why I say that traffic (what traffic?) in Chicago is actually heaven for people like me. Cars actually stop (literally!) for pedestrians over here. It’s the law. When the sign says stop, drivers do stop, even when the police are not around. Also, drivers normally don’t change lanes just because.

(2.) Commute. I don’t drive here in Chicago, not because I don’t want to, it’s just that I don’t have the need for it. I travel by train and by bus everywhere and anywhere in the city. And I’m only speaking here about Chicago’s public transportation since it’s the one I have experience with. I’m not too sure about the other major cities in America. In Chicago, I can almost go anywhere in the city without the need to drive. Our public transportation system here is comprehensive and connected all the way.

(3.) Snow. Although I’ve already mentioned in my past articles that winter and the freezing weather are not my absolute favorites but still I can’t deny it, I do love the snow, especially the fresh, light coating of the first, new snow of winter. It’s always glorious. No words are enough to describe it or to express how it makes me feel. Simply spectacular.

(4.) Spring and autumn. Oh, these seasons are two of my favorites. Again, there are not enough words to express how these seasons make me feel. Refreshing, eternal hope and a new promise are only some of the words I can think of to describe spring. And autumn, oh where do I begin? All the grandeur and magnificence of God’s creation come together in time for “fall.” The deep, rich colors and the crisp chill in the air that’s just perfect. I can live with spring and autumn anytime.

(5.) Inexpensive food. This is one of the things that make this nation great. No matter how a family may not be able to have a car or luxury items, especially at this economic downturn, but at least food is aplenty and inexpensive. Of course, as anywhere else, there will be places where food can be a luxury in itself and will cost you arm and leg, but I’m talking about the every day, regular food. As I’m looking at my bills and receipts right now, food and grocery items are always the least amount in them.

(6.) Public parks. If you remember, I wrote an entire article for this column about our parks here in Chicago. (Please see EV Mail News issue for the week of August 15-21, 2011 for my article “Concerts at the Park.”) They’re great!

(7.) The "American" way of having disagreements. I admire most Americans on this. They do know how to argue, have debates, disagreements and exchange of words, but I’ve never seen them hold a grudge (openly) forever and ever after. But I won’t pretend to know what’s in their hearts and minds nor will I say convincingly that they actually don’t have any hard feelings after such disagreements. All I’m talking about is what I see among my network of people and what I’ve personally experienced. This perception is coming from a Filipino who has seen open and evident grudges among family and friends in the Philippines being paraded around at no end.

(8.) Thinking "green." No, this is not about the money. And no, this is also not about the Filipino way of thinking "green." This is living in an “environmentally friendly” way. Honestly, I’m not too big on recycling or in “saving the earth” movement (I ought to be ashamed of myself, I know) but I like how Chicago is going in that direction. Less pollution, no smelly garbage lying around (most of the time) which means no rats (I hope), clean waters and clean air in the city.

(9.) The "1-2-3" way of life. If we say “1-2-3” in the Philippines, it has the negative connotation of doing things improperly, ineffectively and poorly. In other words, the “1-2-3” of doing things for Filipinos is the "haw-syaw" way. That's not what I mean here. Let me explain. Americans have a knack of doing things step by step. When we buy furniture or a small appliance, they come with a manual that has the “1-2-3” steps for us to follow from its assembly to the usage. For the most part, everything has a place and there’s a place for everything. American corporations are continually coming up with ways on how to make our lives easier. You have a new packaged food you haven’t tried yet? Check out the instructions, there’ll be a “1-2-3” way to do it. A new patio set? Read the manual, it’s easy as 1-2-3!

(10.) Living the "American dream." The American dream is this --as long as you work hard and dream big, America will give you the opportunity and the way to achieve them. My family is a living proof to this. We came here with almost nothing --no house, no car, no possessions, no friends, and no jobs-- but look at where we are right now. It wasn’t very easy at first but I’m a believer in hard work and God’s rewards. Thank God for His abundant blessings indeed!
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