A Movie, A Dinner, and A Stroll

A repost. As originally published on EV Mail News for the week of February 20-26,2012.

http://www.evmailnews.com/eastern-visayas-mail-issue-of-feb-20-26-2012

By the time this article gets published, I'm pretty sure Valentine's Day would have passed by already. But no sweat, I'm still going to write something about (yes, you've guessed it) dating.

I'm not even going to try and talk about dating before marriage because I don't have much "quality" experience on that. My boyfriend-relationship with my husband was kind of a "whirlwind romance" of sorts. We had a short courtship. We went out on "formal" dates maybe only two or three times before we got married. But now, after being married for 17 years, I'm enjoying more "quality" dating time with my husband on couple getaways, impromptu "movie, dinner and a stroll" moments, and after work rendezvous.

This is possible now since our son doesn't need to be watched or to be taken care of like when he was little. My husband and I have more "freedom" and more time to go out of the house now even without any prior plans. It's kind of liberating to feel that we don't have to be bothered anymore with finding a "yaya" (nanny), or to worry of getting home at a certain hour while on a date. We are free! (Ah, not totally, but you all know what I mean.)

Our favorite date is to go out and watch a movie, have a quiet and yummy dinner, and maybe a short walk after, if the evening is nice enough for a stroll. A very simple night-out is what we both like --nothing fancy, nothing expensive or crazy. Sometimes we even just skip the movie all together and just go home and watch a good DVD on our couch in our pajamas. My husband likes it that way even better since he can pause and stop the movie while he goes around the house --to go to the bathroom, to zap some popcorn or to get some iced tea or water, all in the comforts of his jammies. Yes, we are very "low-maintenance" people.

It's my strong belief that married couples must never stop dating. Even after 50, 60 or 70 years of marriage, spouses must never stop surprising each other with small, simple gestures of love, and doing special things for each other. Learn new adventures and activities with each other and take turns in doing what the other loves the most (no matter how much you hate it, like watching basketball on TV!). We must always "keep the flame alive!" You are married, not sentenced for life!

It took me a while, and with a lot of disciplining from God, but I've learned how to be a better wife to my husband now. I'm not saying that I'm a perfect wife or that we don't have any riffs, but at least we've made a firm commitment with God that we will give it our best to make our marriage work, most especially to make God the center of our relationship. In the olden times when, and in some cultures where, marriages are often arranged and forced by families and relatives of the couple, and yet more often than not, they manage to stay together, have a family, and make it work somehow. So how much more in our time right now, when in the best scenario, no one is forced to marry anyone anymore, ought we not to give our best effort and everything to make our marriage be a success even more?

I know it's easier said than done. I'm not even going to try and preach on the topic of marriage because I'm the least qualified of all to do it. I just want to share with you today on how God has helped me and my husband to understand that our marriage will crumble and will amount to nothing if we remain selfish, stubborn and unforgiving towards each other. It doesn't matter even if we love each other so much, our human love will never overcome the difficulties and hardships that come naturally with life and relationships. We need a power greater than ourselves to help us to be grounded, to be reminded, to be strong everyday, and to work hard for our marriage. We need God.

Young love is fresh and exciting but as time matures that love, it becomes even more beautiful and fulfilling. I will never trade the love I have now for my husband with anything. Even when it's just a movie, a dinner, and a stroll that makes our weekend a thrill, I'm in a happy place in my life right now. I couldn't ask for anything more.


"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." -Ephesians 5:22-28