"10 Things"

A repost. As originally published on EV Mail News for the week of March 19-25, 2012.

Link: EV Mail News (Digital Version)

Ever since I've written the "10 (Unsolicited) Advices for Teenagers" (see EV Mail News issue for January 23-29, 2012), I can't get over the fact that I've really, really enjoyed writing that article. I'm not sure if any of the readers enjoyed it too but I loved writing it. It was an easy-breezy for me. I actually finished writing that article in just one sitting and I was laughing the whole time. For the most part, I was imagining my son while I wrote each of those 10 advices. I can vividly picture his facial expressions and eye-rolling. Kids! I can't get enough of him but sometimes teenagers can really wear down any parent, even the best of the best among us.

But I didn't write this article today to reminisce on that previous one. I'm introducing to you the "10 Things Series" for my column. Since I've enjoyed writing the previous "10 Advices," I plan to write more "10 Things" in the future. I will vary it once in a while of course, but I'd love for you to join me in the countdown of several 10 things in my world. The possibility is virtually endless! 10 favorite things, 10 worst things, 10 most beautiful "whatever" things, 10 most annoying "whatever" things, and so on and so forth. I can't wait to get started, but not today though. This is just an introduction remember?

For some unknown reason, I’m an organizer. I'm a planner and I'm a manager. I love to have things in order, like from 1 to 10, if possible. Sometimes my husband teases me that my "neatness" and orderliness can come about as "obsessive-compulsive (OC)" at times. Take note that I placed the word neatness in quotes because I don't consider myself as neat, I'm just organized. Big difference.

A number of people in my life have already taken noticed of my "organizational abilities." Even with my household chores when I was still in the Philippines were "categorized" by day, per week, and according to importance. But wait, I'm not done yet. Those chores were also listed on paper. I actually had that list on my refrigerator door for my "assistant/nanny" Alice to follow each week.

One of my Pastors in Tacloban saw that list one time when he came by our home for a Bible study with my husband (we were newly married then) and he commented on my being "organized" based on that list. I was so proud of myself then but thinking back now, um, I think it was a little bit over the top.

I still do my lists until now. I have them on my PDA, my cell phone and on my computers (work and home), but I still love to write my to-do-lists on paper. I guess old habits are hard to break. And as I "mature" in age, I found out the hard way that remembering things in my head alone doesn't work that effectively anymore. I can't escape it, I do need those electronic and paper reminders more than ever.

The thing about those lists is that I do follow them strictly. It seems like my day is not complete and I feel I haven't really done anything constructive if I haven't at least checked-off half of my to-do list. I'm a creature of habit and I can't help it if I follow a list to help remind me of “very important” things I need to do, and then to actually do them. What's the point of having a list if not to do it, right?

So for now, one of my to-do things for today is to finish this article and email it. Check! Then I have to begin with that next article of "10 Things" so I can share with you my "OC-iness." Get it?

And as a follower of Christ, one of the "10 Things" that is very important in my life is the 10 Commandments given by God to Moses as recorded in the Old Testament. I know that as Christians we don't live under those Laws anymore in order for us to be right with God because we are under God's grace through faith in Jesus, and we're not judged under the Law. But as Christians we still have the obligation to follow and obey God because we love Him.

"(1)Thou shalt have none other gods before me.

(2)Thou shalt not make thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the waters beneath the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me, And showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.

(3)Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain: for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

(4)Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee. Six days thou shalt labor, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thine ox, nor thine ass, nor any of thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; that thy manservant and thy maidservant may rest as well as thou. And remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and that the LORD thy God brought thee out thence through a mighty hand and by a stretched out arm: therefore the LORD thy God commanded thee to keep the sabbath day.

(5)Honor thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

(6)Thou shalt not kill.

(7)Neither shalt thou commit adultery.

(8)Neither shalt thou steal.

(9)Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbor.

(10)Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbor's wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbor's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any thing that is thy neighbor's." -Deuteronomy 5:7-21 (The numberings are mine.)

Me, My Camera, and the City

A repost. As originally published on EV Mail News for the week of February 27-March 4, 2012. 

Link: EV Mail News (Digital Version)

It's as if I'm not already very busy as it is right now, I've actually added another project for myself to work on. I've recently "launched" my very first photo blog on the internet. I call it "Water Reflections." I'm really, really very excited about this project but I sometimes think that I must really be crazy for doing this to myself. Adding extra work to my already full and "overflowing" schedule? Oh yes, my screws up there are quite loose for sure! Oh well, but I love doing it and I'm enjoying what I'm doing for a change. It doesn't feel like it's another job that I have to "tackle" just for the sake of tackling it. So why limit and deprive myself with such a creative and fun "artistic" outlet? This will be a treat for me and I will call this new photo blog my "guilty pleasure." I'm allowed to spoil myself sometimes, am I not? And this is all going to work out, I promise.

Speaking of working out, in one of my "blog surfing" on the web, I happened to stumble upon a blog saying that said: "For every successful blog, there is a family (or a husband) less fed behind it," or something like that. That is just too funny! Funny for me until my husband saw it. He actually put a limit to my blogging time. The nerve! I only do my blogging when everything has been scrubbed clean and sparkling, and the table has been set with my delicious cooking! Uh okay, the delicious part may be a little bit of an exaggeration, but it's true, I don't blog the whole day. I've found a "system" that works for me so I'm able to maintain all my four blogs. Four, you say? Yes, four. See, I told you I was crazy!

Since I already have the "water" pattern for my writing "projects," beginning with this column here on EV Mail (Sweetened Waters) and then my "original" first blog (Writings on Water) so I just continued the pattern with the new photo blog (Water Reflections). This photo blog, as the name suggests, is a website for my photos which I want to share with the world. It's open to the public. Anyone can access it and everyone is invited to enjoy the featured photos. As you all know, I'm walking a lot these days as some form of exercise so, I might as well enjoy the strolls by taking everything in and by recording the sights I see through the lens of my camera. I'm a pathological photo-taker, what can I do?

Let me tell you about the sights. I've seen some pretty incredible things on my walks. Sometimes I wish I was more bold and aggressive in taking pictures just like the paparazzi we see on TV and on tabloid magazines, but I'm simply not. I’m just too bashful for that kind of job. I hate to step into anyone's toes (literally and figuratively), I hate to offend anyone, and I dread to cross the invisible line of what’s appropriate.

I have some examples to show you when moments come up that I wish I was more aggressive in my picture-taking. One was when an Asian lady accidentally dropped all her money from her coat pocket while walking in downtown Chicago. I just happen to be walking behind her at that time. As you know, Chicago is a very windy city so needless to say I had to help that poor lady pick up all her paper bills from all over the place. If I were a calloused, uncaring photo-taker just for the sake of my photo blog, I would have taken pictures of the commotion around me instead of running wildly after those wind-blown money.

Another example was when a person with an incredible Mohawk haircut, stretched to its full length with some super hold hairspray and his whole head was dyed neon blue, walked right in front of me at a pedestrian red light. If I were not too shy, I would have whipped out my camera and took photos of him. I don't think he would have mind. I'm guessing he would have been flattered by my delight and interest in his hair but I simply couldn't do it. My feet were stuck to the pavement and I just couldn't stop staring wide-eyed at that marvelous hair! And then he was gone. Say goodbye to an interesting photo subject. My chance has slipped away. Maybe next time?

Another photographic moment is when it's a gorgeous day in Chi Town and the sun is shining brightly that its rays are hitting a beautiful skyscraper at a certain "artistic" angle but the same moment passes by so quickly. I need to be more quick and alert with my camera on hand when such things happen. They are so fleeting and ephemeral that when they're gone, they're gone forever. I know the sun will shine again, I know its rays will hit the same skyscraper again but the original moment, the feeling I had when I first saw it is now gone.

That's why I love taking pictures. They not only capture a certain moment, it takes you back to that specific time, on how you felt, on how the ambiance affected you at that particular occasion, and on how you feel towards the people or the sights that are captured in still life forever.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A Movie, A Dinner, and A Stroll

A repost. As originally published on EV Mail News for the week of February 20-26,2012.

http://www.evmailnews.com/eastern-visayas-mail-issue-of-feb-20-26-2012

By the time this article gets published, I'm pretty sure Valentine's Day would have passed by already. But no sweat, I'm still going to write something about (yes, you've guessed it) dating.

I'm not even going to try and talk about dating before marriage because I don't have much "quality" experience on that. My boyfriend-relationship with my husband was kind of a "whirlwind romance" of sorts. We had a short courtship. We went out on "formal" dates maybe only two or three times before we got married. But now, after being married for 17 years, I'm enjoying more "quality" dating time with my husband on couple getaways, impromptu "movie, dinner and a stroll" moments, and after work rendezvous.

This is possible now since our son doesn't need to be watched or to be taken care of like when he was little. My husband and I have more "freedom" and more time to go out of the house now even without any prior plans. It's kind of liberating to feel that we don't have to be bothered anymore with finding a "yaya" (nanny), or to worry of getting home at a certain hour while on a date. We are free! (Ah, not totally, but you all know what I mean.)

Our favorite date is to go out and watch a movie, have a quiet and yummy dinner, and maybe a short walk after, if the evening is nice enough for a stroll. A very simple night-out is what we both like --nothing fancy, nothing expensive or crazy. Sometimes we even just skip the movie all together and just go home and watch a good DVD on our couch in our pajamas. My husband likes it that way even better since he can pause and stop the movie while he goes around the house --to go to the bathroom, to zap some popcorn or to get some iced tea or water, all in the comforts of his jammies. Yes, we are very "low-maintenance" people.

It's my strong belief that married couples must never stop dating. Even after 50, 60 or 70 years of marriage, spouses must never stop surprising each other with small, simple gestures of love, and doing special things for each other. Learn new adventures and activities with each other and take turns in doing what the other loves the most (no matter how much you hate it, like watching basketball on TV!). We must always "keep the flame alive!" You are married, not sentenced for life!

It took me a while, and with a lot of disciplining from God, but I've learned how to be a better wife to my husband now. I'm not saying that I'm a perfect wife or that we don't have any riffs, but at least we've made a firm commitment with God that we will give it our best to make our marriage work, most especially to make God the center of our relationship. In the olden times when, and in some cultures where, marriages are often arranged and forced by families and relatives of the couple, and yet more often than not, they manage to stay together, have a family, and make it work somehow. So how much more in our time right now, when in the best scenario, no one is forced to marry anyone anymore, ought we not to give our best effort and everything to make our marriage be a success even more?

I know it's easier said than done. I'm not even going to try and preach on the topic of marriage because I'm the least qualified of all to do it. I just want to share with you today on how God has helped me and my husband to understand that our marriage will crumble and will amount to nothing if we remain selfish, stubborn and unforgiving towards each other. It doesn't matter even if we love each other so much, our human love will never overcome the difficulties and hardships that come naturally with life and relationships. We need a power greater than ourselves to help us to be grounded, to be reminded, to be strong everyday, and to work hard for our marriage. We need God.

Young love is fresh and exciting but as time matures that love, it becomes even more beautiful and fulfilling. I will never trade the love I have now for my husband with anything. Even when it's just a movie, a dinner, and a stroll that makes our weekend a thrill, I'm in a happy place in my life right now. I couldn't ask for anything more.


"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." -Ephesians 5:22-28

20 Pounds..... and Counting!

A repost. As originally published on EV Mail News for the week of February 13-19, 2012.

http://www.evmailnews.com/eastern-visayas-mail-issue-of-february-13-19-2012

The holidays are now long gone. The feasts and dinner parties have been over since the New Year came in. All is back to normal. It's quiet. People are now focusing on how to regain the pace of "ordinary" living, trying to get back to the old daily routine. As for me and my family, another focus would be on how to "revive" our depleted checkbook. The holidays can be very expensive these days!

This is also the time to take back the right balance which has been lost through the holiday "marathon" eating. It's time to regain the equilibrium after all the busy-ness, the excitement, and all the flurry of activities during the holiday season. It's now time to breathe again.

I think, um wait… no, I’m sure that I've gained a lot of weight during the holidays. I know it's already "bad" enough that I indulge in all the festivities, parties and treats, beginning on Thanksgiving (here in America) all the way through the New Year's Eve celebration, but then add to it the freezing weather.

Winter is the worst time of the year to be feasting on anything. It's cold and just the thought of walking around the block in my neighborhood already makes my bones chill. All that people want to do on winter time is to "hibernate." Bears do it all the time, why can't we? We need the extra layer of fat in our bodies to help us stay warm until the next spring. Yeah, and let's keep on telling that to ourselves, for we might actually believe it!

So after the holidays, I have to contend with an extra 5 to 10 pounds of unwanted fat (and that's on top of the extra weight I should have lost last summer!). I tell you, it's no fun at all, especially for me who hates (absolutely detests) working out. But I do love to walk --walking is my "thing."

I've started to (seriously) walk in the spring of 2011 because you know, right after the holidays of 2010 I'm confronted with the same old dilemma of extra padded weight so I've decided to do something about it. At first, I've only managed to walk for about 10 to 15 minutes a day on my breaks at work and then I cranked it up a little bit more to about 20 to 30 minutes per day. By summer time, I was already walking 3 times a day --15 to 20 minutes on my morning break, 45 to 60 minutes (that's a full hour!) during my lunch break, and another 10 to 15 minutes in the afternoon. These walks don't yet include my everyday "foot trip" from my house to the train station, and vice versa, which takes about 10 minutes one-way.

After all the "hard work" (which I don't think is too hard since I really enjoy walking), I've seen some considerable results! I've lost 10 pounds in the first 2 months of walking. That's 5 pounds per month! I've never lost that much before even from strict dieting. Then by fall of 2011, I've already lost 15 pounds. Another 5 pounds were lost before winter even began. We're talking of a total of 20 pounds lost just by walking. I'm just too excited about this!

Then I started to dread the upcoming holidays and the winter of 2011 because I always gain weight by the time New Year comes. And it's the kind of weight that sticks like butter. I can't seem to shake those extra pounds off. But I kept at it, I kept on walking.

I'm so proud of myself that even though I've re-gained some of the weight I've lost before, it was easy to shed them off again after the holidays since I already have a physical regimen in place that works for me. So I just kept on walking. My friends at work thought I was crazy because even if it was freezing outside, I’d still put on my coat, bundle up, and go out for my walks. Rain, cold or shine, I’m out there!

And oh, I would be lying if I say that it's all due to walking that I've lost all those pounds because it's not entirely true. Exercising is a huge part in losing weight and staying healthy but I do believe that it should also be a lifestyle change. I had to change the way I think about my health, about the food I eat, and about being physically active.

I know this may sound like an old cliché but I've found out the hard way that looking for something that works best in making a healthier you is the only way that would work long-term. All the health fads and diet trends out there that have been invented by man will never work for you if it's only for the purpose of losing weight quickly and fast with no evident investment in any type of physical activity and by sticking to a healthy, balanced diet.

For example, I do love my vegetables. I've never really put much thought on it since I've always been a veggie eater, but now it's different. I really take some time and effort in getting the best vegetables for our meals. I've found out that the more colorful, the more vibrant, and the deeper the colors are in fruits and vegetables, so much the better.

I was used to eating wilted and overcooked vegetables since I was a child but now I tend to eat a lot of raw, fresh and half-cooked, crisp veggies. And I can't get enough of it. One of my new favorites is broccoli. I know, I know, I'm crazy because my family says so themselves. They're not too fond of broccoli either but I love it! It's been nicknamed the "green gem" for its known properties of preventing and fighting different diseases including cancer. And that's just an added bonus for me because I'm not kidding when I say I love broccoli.

Oh, and cilantro too! I'm addicted to it. I put it on everything. It's a type of Chinese parsley which is dominant in Mexican cooking --lots of antioxidants in that herb. My husband has had enough of it in my cooking already that he "banned" it from our kitchen for some time. That's how extreme my love for cilantro is!

So here goes: exercise/walking... check! Fruits and veggies... check! Stay away from sodas and "junk" food... check! More water… check! Not too much salt or too much sugar on food… check! These are only some of the things that have made a better me (physically and health-wise) for 2012. This is what works for me so I'm sticking to it. I want to glorify God in my body for I'm precious to Him, and being healthy in order to enjoy a long, full life is just one way to do it. And now, to get my family into this with me... uh, that's a whole different story. I'll tell you more about it next time! Ta-ta!

"What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's." -1 Corinthians 6:19-20

10 (Unsolicited) Advise For Teenagers

A repost. As originally published on EV Mail News for the week of January 23-29, 2012.
http://www.evmailnews.com/eastern-visayas-mail-issue-of-jan-23-29-2012

"O God, thou hast taught me from my youth: and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works. Now also when I am old and greyheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come." -Psalm 71:17-18

I know this would be kinda hard to believe for some younger people (including my son) but yes, I was once young. I've also been a teenager before. It's not important now on how long ago that was, but it would be safe to say that it wasn't during the Stone Age.

I find it all too amusing when I hear kids or teenagers talk about getting old as something that is so, so far away for it to happen to them. I've heard a teenager on TV here in Chicago said something like: ".....when I get old, like, when I'm in my 30's....." That just sent me cracking up the whole day! Phew, these kids, they don't know what they're talking about!

My son looked directly at my face one time, with an incredulous expression on his face, when I told him that I once worked for a local TV station in Tacloban City. I thought he was looking at me with awe, probably thinking at last that his Mom was in fact cool? Then he said, with the same crazy expression on his face, "There was TV when you were young?!" Wow. These things might seem very amusing to me now (and I also find teenagers too adorable) but I got to remember that I might have been amusing as well to my parents and to my elders when I was a teenager. Hmm, were they laughing behind my back?

My son is so funny at this age that even without him trying hard, his antics, the vocal changes, and the physical awkwardness are all amusing and endearing to me at the same time. I try not to laugh at him (most of the time), because I know how teenagers get embarrassed so easily, but sometimes I just can't help it! (Just wait 'til he reads this article, ha?) It's like watching my baby trying hard to turn into a man but still doesn't really want to, not yet at least. Teenagers are like people trapped between childhood and adulthood and it's understandable why this stage can be very confusing, scary, and may also be traumatic for them, if not handled with care.

There's much talk, open dialogues, lots of self-help books, Facebook posts, etc. allotted to raising teenagers and what we can do to help them achieve success and well-being. I'm not against it or anything like that, I'm just fascinated by it all. I didn't have that same help when I was a teenager (and yes, you do hear a whine in my tone here), but I came out fine, didn't I? Okay, that may be a bit questionable, but the point is, I'm glad that our society is now more open to talk about this issue and on how to help parents know (and the teenagers as well) that they're not alone in this whole process of growing up. Everybody goes through with it.

So, on the authority of being a teenager once and having a teenager now, I give my ten unsolicited advise to all the teenagers out there (but I guess to all the parents of teenagers is more appropriate since they are the ones more likely to read this article):

(1.) You are only young once. Make every year/age count. Don't waste it on doing anything illegal, immoral or stupid, of which you will soon regret for the rest of your life. It's okay to be crazy once in a while, you are teenagers after all. I just hope you would listen more to the wisdom of your elders, especially from those who've done it all, especially from them.

(2.) Listen well. Don't just hear, listen. Make all "oldies" talk be your life lessons even though you don't know nor understand what we're talking about yet. Write them down or tuck it in the nearest accessible memory "hard drive" in your head for later use. You never know when a good advice will actually be useful in the future.

(3.) Don't be grouchy all the time. I know it's all those hormones inside you creating the havoc in your head, with your moods, and with your emotions, but please try to smile once in a while. It looks good on photos for posterity's sake and also great for Facebook! There you go...smile! See, it doesn't hurt, does it?

(4.) No matter how "modern" or "liberal" or "independent" you've become, I hope you will never forget the basic words of human respect and civility. Saying "Hello," "Please," Excuse me" (in a nice tone of voice), "Thank you," and "I'm sorry" still make a huge difference in people's lives. A kind word will go a long, long way.

(5.) You don't know everything. No matter how convinced you are that you do, you actually don't. Stay in school and learn more. Stay out of trouble as much as you can and work hard on those school projects. Pick up a book and read. Read a lot. (Surfing the internet does not count either!) If you're anything like my son who hates school but he knows he doesn't have any choice but to be there anyway, try to enjoy every minute of it. You're going to be in there for quite a long time. Better make the best of it, have fun and enjoy, rather than flunk every subject and pay for it one way or the other later on. School is not that bad. Jail is.

(6.) Family is everything. (I see you roll your eyes!) But yes, even though you might think friends are everything right now, they really are not. Friends are very nice to have. Friendship is so precious and is a great gift but friends come and go and family always stay. We can choose our friends but we can't get rid of family. Believe me when I say when trouble comes, friends may be hard to find but family is more than enough.

(7.) Eat what you love and eat as much as you can. Be adventurous with your food. Try everything. You are young, you can take almost anything. So when you get older, you already know your favorites and would enjoy more. But please do this without going overboard or resorting to gluttony. And also don't make your parent's monthly budget for food shrink to cover only a day. Anything to the extreme is always bad. Also learn your family's medical history in order to make intelligent food choices. And when the word "teen" drops out of your age, stop. Health is always wealth.

(8.) Exercise! Since you're doing number 7 above, do number 8 as well. I know you're young. You're active and busy, but please don't neglect a good exercise. Walk, walk, and walk. If you can run, by all means, run! You like the gym? Go! "A body in motion tends to stay in motion," I've heard that line from a commercial. I hope that a good physical regimen will always be a part of your life.

(9.) Experience life! Do exciting, normal teenage activities with your friends and family. Travel if you can, go play sports, experience something new and exhilarating (again nothing illegal here, okay?). Don't wait until you're a middle-aged, arthritic version of yourself to do some stunts that your body nor your bones can't handle anymore. Take photos, soak in everything. Make memories and remember for a lifetime.

(10.) Give back. It's always a blessing to give back to family, friends, your church, and specially to strangers, to the poor, and to society. For every blessing we receive, more blessings should be given back. It feels good. It's the right thing to do. Give back to your parents and honor them always, it's the only commandment in the Bible that has a promise that comes with it --a long, full life.

"And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you." -Isaiah 46:4